Alhamdulillah, as a father to five energetic boys, I am acutely familiar with the critical connection between parenthood and patience. So, I thought to myself, ‘Why not share a few thoughts on the subject?’ Not with the intention of preaching, but by way of self-reflection and the opening of a conversation to which all can contribute – Insha–Allah!
Door knocked 20 times: A calm and patient father
As a young teenager, I vividly recall reading a touching account from the life of the Promised Messiah (as), a beautiful incident narrated by Hazrat Maulana Abdul Karim Sahib Sialkoti (ra), who was astonished at the level of forbearance and patience demonstrated by Hazrat Ahmad, the Promised Messiah (as).
The story begins with Hazrat Ahmad (as) seated in the upper hall of his residence, where he would remain in deep thought as he penned new works; and these were not insignificant pamphlets or books, but works that would become of critical importance to the very future of humankind! During his writing sessions, it was the Promised Messiah’s (as) habit to keep the door closed.
Hazrat Abdul Karim Sahib (ra) noted that on one such occasion, a young boy approached the door, knocked, and loudly called out, “Abba” (father), to which Hazrat Ahmad (as) stood and opened the door. His son hurried into the room, briefly looked around and then scurried away. Without any sign of agitation, Hazrat Ahmad (as) calmly closed the door and returned to his work.
Hardly a couple of minutes passed before the same child returned, knocked on the door boisterously, and again passionately called out “Abba”. Hazrat Ahmad (as) stood and opened the door, only for his son to briefly peek his head through before rushing away. The Promised Messiah (as) calmly carried on with his work, and after five minutes, the child returned with the same commotion and again called out “Abba”. To Hazrat Abdul Karim Sahib’s (ra) utter amazement, Hazrat Ahmad (as) again calmly rose, opened the door, and returned to his deep thought and writing – without directing even the slightest annoyance or rebuke towards the boy. Hazrat Abdul Karim Sahib (ra) witnessed this happen at least twenty times during a single sitting! Yet not once did he witness the Promised Messiah (as) react with impatience or make the child feel unwanted or an inconvenience.1
‘Abba, chitti!’: Hazrat Ahmad’s (as) sweet response
My first encounter with this story was as a young teenager, a boy of sprightly mind, free of all worldly responsibility and stress. That version of me interpreted the incident as a very kind response by the Promised Messiah (as). Nearly 30 years have since passed, and I revisit the story as a father – with the responsibilities and commitments that all parents share – surrounded by the tiptoes of young children. The irony is not lost on me that I pen this article a day after I had mentioned to one of my sons that he had disturbed a meeting of mine by constantly entering my office! So, let me share a confession: the 2026 version of me is simply astounded by the splendid and loving example shown here by Hazrat Ahmad (as).
Yet this incident is by no means an isolated one! For example, Hazrat Mirza Bashir Ahmad Sahib(ra), one of the sons of Hazrat Ahmad (as), fondly shares a similar story from his childhood. As a small boy, he developed a sweet tooth for sugar, which he called “chitti” on account of its whiteness – this being his nickname for it before he learned to speak fluently.
Hazrat Mirza Bashir Ahmad Sahib (ra) mentions that he would often go to his father, while the Promised Messiah (as) was deeply engaged in his writing, stretch out his hand and say, “Abba, chitti.” Hazrat Ahmad (as) would lovingly step away from his work, go to the pantry, and bring some sugar for his son. Only a short while would pass before the young boy reappeared, his little hand outstretched, again announcing, “Abba, chitti!” This request would occur many times each day, yet Hazrat Ahmad (as) would always attend to his son with patience and love.2
Rethinking our interruptions
If any of us were placed in Hazrat Ahmad’s (as) position during either of these incidents, one would be forgiven for perceiving such interruptions as frustrating barriers to progress or, at the very least, delays in the completion of our objectives. The Promised Messiah (as), however, demonstrated a far deeper understanding of patience and faith; a tremendous moral quality drawn, through Allah the Almighty’s grace, from the Holy Quran and sunnah of the Holy Prophet (sa). For example, the Holy Quran tells the believers: “And be patient, for indeed, Allah does not allow the reward of those who do good to be lost.”3 It is a simple verse – here paired with a simple lesson from the life of the Promised Messiah (as) – but one that could profoundly transform our lives if sincerely taken to heart and action.
In both of these incidents, regardless of the disturbance or frustration caused, Hazrat Ahmad (as) knew with absolute certainty that Allah the Almighty would never allow his efforts to be wasted as a result of the patience, forbearance and love he showed to his children. On the contrary, they would only serve to increase his success and imbibe the traits of success in his blessed offspring. And with this realisation, he was in complete peace and contentment with the decree of Allah the Almighty.
This gave me reason to pause and reflect. What if, in our haste and restlessness, we are in fact the ones who raise barriers to our own progress through our impatience? What if true progress is born not of constant motion, but of quiet patience? If we pause – even briefly – and submit ourselves to the will of Allah, we may begin to see what was once hidden: a quiet, unseen growth, and the unfolding of a far better plan than the one we had imagined.
These, I believe, are subtle yet profound realities of faith.
‘Sabrun Jamilun’: Beautiful patience
On the subject of exemplary patience, the Holy Quran mentions the phrase “sabrun jamilun”(beautiful patience) in relation to two incidents. One reference is to Hazrat Yaqub (as) in Surah Yusuf, when his sons presented a bloodied shirt as false evidence of a wolf killing Hazrat Yusuf(as), his son.4 The other is addressed to the Holy Prophet (sa) in Surah al-Ma‘arij, when he was instructed to show beautiful patience to the polytheists opposing him.5
Classical commentaries of the Holy Quran describe “sabrun jamilun” as an exceptional, or even the highest human state of patience and forbearance. It is a beautiful form of patience marked by the complete absence of inner and outer discontentment with Allah the Almighty’s decree (i‘tirad),6 patience free from restlessness, anger or agitation (sabrun la jaz‘a fih),7 and a state that reflects complete contentment (rida).
When asked by Imam Hasan (ra) about the meaning of “sabrun jamilun”, the Holy Prophet (sa) replied: “Patience in which there is no complaint; so whoever expresses [their distress] has not truly been patient (sabrun la shakwa fihi fa-man baththa lam yasbir).” Each of these qualities was demonstrated par excellence in the example of the Holy Prophet (sa), and, albeit within a very different context, we find a reflection of this same beautiful patience – rooted in the Quran and sunnah – displayed in the life of Hazrat Ahmad (as) in the aforementioned examples.
Final thoughts
The life of a parent is not an easy one. Children are both an immense blessing and a sacred trust. The Holy Quran approaches this subject holistically, stating: “Wealth and children are an adornment of the life of this world. But enduring good works are better in the sight of thy Lord in respect of immediate reward, and better in respect of future hope.”8 The first implication is that wealth and children have the potential to distract us from our true purpose. Yet wealth spent in the cause of Allah, and children nurtured according to Islam’s higher purpose, become a means of lasting reward and a blessed continuation of one’s spiritual legacy. The Holy Quran, the example of the Holy Prophet (sa), and the recent stewardship of the Promised Messiah (as) and his khulafa, all shepherd us towards “sabrun jamilun.”
Perhaps then, the true test and lesson in relation to patience is not simply found in how much we accomplish, but in the manner in which we respond when our plans are “apparently” interrupted or frustrated. For the Holy Quran is clear that a believer should “Seek help through patience and prayer.”9
If even a fraction of the patience of the Promised Messiah (as) could be reflected in our homes, how different would our children feel in our presence? How fertile would our homes become, and how richly would the seeds within them blossom?
Perhaps it is during interruptions that Allah the Almighty causes us to understand better who we truly are. I look forward to learning from your experiences in the comments below – moments where patience was tested, and your faith in Allah the Almighty brought about the best result!
Endnotes:
- Seerat Hazrat Masih-e-Maud, p. 35
- Seerat ul-Mahdi, Part 3, pp. 823-824, narration 972
- Surah Hud, Ch.11: V.116
- Surah Yusuf, Ch.12: V.19; V.84
- Surah al-Ma‘arij, Ch.70: V.6
- Imam al-Razi writes in this regard: “So sabrun jamilun is that a person recognises that the One who has sent down that trial is Allah, the Most High; then he knows that Allah, Glorified is He, is the Owner of all dominion, and there can be no objection to the Owner in how He disposes of His own dominion. Thus, the heart becoming fully absorbed in this reality, prevents a person from expressing complaint.” He adds: “The second aspect is that one knows that the Sender of this trial is All-Wise and does not act in ignorance (hakimun la yajhal), All-Knowing and does not overlook (‘alimun la yaghfal), All-Aware and does not forget (‘alimun la yansa), Most Merciful and does not act unjustly (rahimun la yatgha). And when this is so, then everything that proceeds from Him is wisdom and correctness; thus, at that point, a person remains silent and does not object.” (Fakhr al-Din al-Razi, Mafatiḥ al-Ghayb, 12:19)
- al-Tabari, Jami‘ al-Bayan ʿan Ta’wil Ay al-Quran, 70:6; al-Qurtubi, Al-Jami‘ li-Ahkam al-Quran, 70:6.
- Surah al-Kahf, Ch.18: V.47
- Surah al-Baqarah, Ch.2: V.46