Tanzeel Khorram, Student Jamia Ahmadiyya UK
We have all felt it at some point. The horrible, drowning feeling is that there is no one to support, help or guide us. That we are completely and totally alone. But why is loneliness becoming so much more prevalent today?
The problem
For years now, loneliness has slowly been taking over the lives of many, with each passing year adding more and more victims to its grasp. In 2018, the BBC carried out a loneliness experiment, sampling 55,000 people around the world. It found 40% of 16-24 year olds feel lonely often or very often. (“Why do I feel so lonely even though I’m surrounded by people?”, bbc.co.uk, 8 January 2025)
Loneliness has become such a grave problem that the World Health Organisation declared it “a pressing global threat”, and the US Surgeon General described its mortality effects as being equivalent to smoking 15 cigarettes a day. (“WHO declares loneliness a ‘global public health concern’”, theguardian.com, 16 November 2023)
Why are people getting lonelier?
It seems that one of the underlying factors contributing to a rise in loneliness is the digitalisation of our world. With everything being at our fingertips, there is much less need to go out and socialise. Need food? We can order to our homes. Want to watch a movie? We can watch on our laptops and TVs. Want to catch up with friends? We can just text. Need to work? We can now work from home. It’s no surprise then, that loneliness is this prevalent amongst the new generation, or young adults.
But even then, there are many who socialise, who spend their day among people, among friends and colleagues and family. Why them? Why do they feel lonely? The root cause appears to be a lack of meaning in our daily experiences. A lot of us don’t feel like we truly belong with anyone. Though we spend our days in crowds, we feel invisible. We have friends, but we can’t connect with them. We have family, but we feel like they can’t understand us.
Is there a solution?
Since the issue of loneliness has begun to attract the attention of professionals, various solutions have been sought.
New apps have been launched that function like WhatsApp, but with a twist – instead, you text AI friends. For many, this has become a perfect answer to their loneliness, saying that their AI friends are a more constant presence and support than their real-life friends. However there are fears that by relying on AI friends people can lose touch with reality and further damage their connection to humans. (“Can an AI friend make you less lonely?”, theguardian.com, 2 August 2024)
Other solutions include going on walks, setting up community meals, holding church events, etc. However, a permanent or even long-term solution is yet to be presented by anyone.
The Islamic solution
Islam provides a solution that no one else can. Right from the outset, Islam encourages its followers to go out and socialise. For example, it’s obligatory for Muslim men to pray 5 times a day in congregation. This way, we are sort of forced to go and meet each other. There is a unique sense of unity when the rich and the poor, the distressed and the happy, the king and the peasant are all instructed to stand together, side by side in worship of their Lord. There we are reminded that no matter what standing we have, no matter what social status we have, in the end we are all answerable to the one true God. In this way, a beggar does not feel left out, as the man standing next to him may be a king, but in the estimation of God Almighty, they are both His servants, and they both deserve to be heard.
Similarly, once a year Muslims gather for Hajj. Here too, Muslims all around the world meet to join together and worship their Lord. No one person is superior to another, no one person feels left out. Friends are made, relationships are strengthened, and a sense of brotherhood is felt.
The Holy Prophetsa of Islam showed through his example just how to integrate into society, and how to take care of others. He taught that when a Muslim is sick, we should go meet him, and take care of him. (Riyad as-Salihin, Hadith 897)
When a Muslim is in debt, we should help him and give him ease. (Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 2417)
When we get married, we should give our food to the poor. (Sahih Muslim, Hadith 1432a)
We should give to charity and take care of the needy. (Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 1429)
We should meet a Muslim with a smile. (Jami` at-Tirmidhi, Hadith 1956)
We should spread greetings of peace to each other. (Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 3693)
He taught to join the ties of kinship, to forgive, and to be kind and compassionate. (Al-Adab Al-Mufrad, Hadith 55)
The Holy Prophet’ssa practice was in accordance with the following verse of the Holy Quran:
وَاعۡبُدُوا اللہ وَلَا تُشۡرِکُوۡا بِہٖ شَیۡئًا وَّبِالۡوَالِدَیۡنِ اِحۡسَانًا وَّبِذِی الۡقُرۡبٰی وَالۡیَتٰمٰی وَالۡمَسٰکِیۡنِ وَالۡجَارِ ذِی الۡقُرۡبٰی وَالۡجَارِ الۡجُنُبِ وَالصَّاحِبِ بِالۡجَنۡۢبِ وَابۡنِ السَّبِیۡلِ ۙ وَمَا مَلَکَتۡ اَیۡمَانُکُمۡ ؕ اِنَّ اللہ لَا یُحِبُّ مَنۡ کَانَ مُخۡتَالًا فَخُوۡرَا
“And worship Allah and associate naught with Him, and show kindness to parents, and to kindred, and orphans, and the needy, and to the neighbour that is a kinsman and the neighbour that is a stranger, and the companion by your side, and the wayfarer, and those whom your right hands possess. Surely, Allah loves not the proud and the boastful.” (Surah An-Nisa, Ch.4: V.37)
Thus, Islam, at its very core, orders us to truly take care of everyone we meet. Not doing so means that, in the sight of Allah, we are of “the proud and the boastful.”
Moreover, Allah states that He is with those who do good to others (Surah al-Ankabut, Ch.29: V.70):
وَاِنَّ اللہ لَمَعَ الۡمُحۡسِنِیۡنَ
In summary, Islam teaches us that if we want to be loved by God and have His help, then first we must take care of His creation. Not only this, but the Holy Prophetsa taught us to appreciate those around us, further nurturing ties of friendship and love.
لاَ يَشْكُرُ اللہ مَنْ لاَ يَشْكُرُ النَّاسَ
“He who does not thank the people is not thankful to Allah.” (Sunan Abi Dawud, Hadith 4811)
The Holy Prophet’ssa own example
The Holy Prophetsa took care of people at every level of society. Hazrat Anasra states: “I have never seen a man who was more compassionate to one’s family than Allah’s Messengersa.” (Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2316)
A companion got married and had nothing for his Walima. The Holy Prophetsa instructed him to go to Hazrat Aishara and fetch flour. He happily went and took a bucket of flour. What he did not know, however, was that the bucket of flour was all the household of the Holy Prophetsa had for dinner that night. (“The Holy Prophet’s love and kindness for his Companions”, alhakam.org, 20 November 2020)
This is the example of selflessness that our Holy Prophetsa wished to inculcate in us. He was ready to face any pain and difficulty for the comfort of those around him. But today, all anyone focuses on is themselves and their own pain. A brother complains about having to give his sister a glass of water. A husband complains about having to drive his wife to her family. No wonder, then, that people feel lonely. If their very needs are ignored, their wants brushed aside, their feelings cast off, how can our society ever regain any sense of unity and togetherness?
The Holy Prophetsa left such a great example that he would go out of his way to make sure his companions and his family were safe and happy. If a companion of his was hungry, the Holy Prophetsa would know; if a companion was upset, he would talk to him and advise him. If an argument takes place between two Muslims, he would facilitate. Everything the Holy Prophetsa did was to ensure that at every level of society, no one felt alone. The Holy Prophetsa may have loved Hazrat Abu Bakrra the most from his companions, and spent more time with Hazrat Umarra, Hazrat Uthmanra and Hazrat Alira, but this didn’t mean that anyone else felt left out. The Holy Prophetsa made each and every one he met feel special.
It is a pity, however, that even Muslims have forgotten this essential practice of the Holy Prophetsa. Nowadays, people are only concerned about themselves, and a solution that was provided 1400 years ago, is ignored. The Holy Prophet’ssa own example shows us such a clear path to tackling our social problems, that if they had been acted upon, we may not have been having this conversation at all.
Islam, as a religion based on human nature, maximises opportunities for Muslims to get together and removes completely any constant feelings of loneliness. It’s just a matter of putting in the effort and following the way of the Holy Prophetsa.
“Whoever does not show mercy to the people, Allah will not show mercy to him.” (Tirmidhi, Hadith 1922)