Al-Fawaz Ajimoti, Student, Jamia Ahmadiyya International Ghana
The Netflix mini-series “Adolescence” made significant headlines across all social media platforms for its powerful storytelling and timely relevance. The four-part British psychological crime drama explores pressing issues currently faced by today’s youth across the globe as it delves into themes such as online radicalisation, toxic masculinity, as well as the psychological impact of unfiltered social media exposure.
The series follows the story of Jamie Miller, a 13-year-old high schooler who was accused, arrested and detained on a murder charge of a fellow female schoolmate, Katie Leonard. CCTV footage appears to capture Jamie fatally stabbing the young girl to death – leading to his swift arrest.
Although the series stops short of fully confirming his guilt, Jamie ultimately agrees to plead guilty, raising unsettling questions about justice, truth, and the pressure within the legal system. For some, his guilt is completely justified, especially considering the fact that it is highly unlikely and preposterous that someone would’ve forged CCTV camera footage against a 13-year-old innocent kid.
Nevertheless, as the investigation on the murder unfolded, there seemed to have been a form of relationship between Jamie and Katie – the victim, or that was at least what the police assumed based on clues found on both parties’ Instagram. In a pivotal moment, it is the son of the lead detective who unravels the mystery for the police by explaining the hidden meaning of the emojis Katie had used against Jamie – revealing a subtle but damaging form of online bullying.
Who would have thought that something as seemingly trivial as a combination of some silly emojis could become a medium of humiliation and emotional manipulation? Yet, for teenagers nowadays, such digital language carries immense psychological weight – sometimes with unbelievably devastating consequences – as in the case of Katie and Jamie, which led to the death of one, and the conviction of another.
At its core, Adolescence highlights the growing disconnect between parents and children in today’s world. Many parents remain unaware of their children’s inner struggles, especially when those struggles are shaped by elements they are themselves oblivious to or do not fully understand, such as the digital space.
For parents, the show also serves as a stark reminder of what we already know, but often overlook: we no longer live in the same world as our children. The world they now live in is a completely different one, one that we can never truly relate to. The age gap between parents and children has become more than just a number – it reflects a cultural, technological, and emotional divide that must be bridged with active parenting now, more than ever.
Being a Gen Z myself, I am aware of how many hideous things I have done to outsmart my parents, even though I wasn’t very mischievous, and they weren’t careless either. They are, in fact, very keen about our upbringing – mine and my siblings.
Personally, I find it quite amusing that most parents still believe with 100 per cent conviction that they know their children very well, and that they are fully aware of their children’s activities on their phones and tablets. Especially because, in their own words, “they regularly check their children’s digital footprints.”
Well, sorry to be the bearer of the bad news, but I’ve been there as well. In fact, my digital and social media activities fully started on my mother’s phone – not even mine. And unless she reads this article, she would never really know.
And no, she wasn’t careless, not even a bit. But I wasn’t dumb either. Despite her overly carefulness, what she would see whenever she checks is her filial son reading some write-ups online, even though that’s not all I do with her phone. Changing tabs is only a matter of a single tap on the screen after all.
Although what I used her phone for was not necessarily immoral, how do I explain to my Gen X mother that an hour on social media is not that harmful, especially when I was still a high schooler? However, this was all a very long time ago, and teenagers nowadays are far more advanced than they were then.
We now live in a world where kids attach magnetic reeds to their room doors, which automatically shut down their screens whenever anyone opens the room door from outside. Others attach spoons to their computer screens so they can see the reflection of their parents if they try to sneak up on them.
The million-dollar question, however, is – what is the way forward in the parenting game?
Abandoning conventional ways: The way forward?
It is often said that “desperate times call for desperate measures.” And now that we are in a desperate time – the kind that has never been seen before in the past, it is clear that we must abandon old, conventional parenting methods and adopt new approaches.
Fortunately, for us Muslims, we don’t really have to search for new measures; all we have to do is follow the timeless principles that have already been laid down for us by Allah and practised by the Prophetsas.
Below are some guiding principles on parenting as highlighted by the Holy Quran:
Education
Parents need to instil, from a very tender age, the sense of responsibility in their children – the consciousness of what is good or bad. So that even in their absence, the children would still do the right thing. Not because of the fear of their parents, but because they know it is morally the right thing to do.
We see the perfect example of this in the story of Hazrat Luqmanas in the Holy Quran, where he teaches his son the basic dos and don’ts of both morality and spirituality.
He teaches his son to observe prayers, enjoin good, forbid evil, and bear calamities with patience. And then teaches him not to associate partners with God or be arrogant – in words, deeds and even in walk. (Surah Luqman, Ch.31: V.14-20)
Engagement and dialogue
Similarly, it is essential that parents give their children the opportunity to open up to them about whatever is bothering them. This can only be achieved if parents build a safe and trusting environment where children feel heard and not judged. Open dialogue strengthens the parent-child bond and helps prevent children from seeking potentially harmful outlets elsewhere.
A beautiful example of this in the Holy Quran is found in the story of Prophet Yaqubas and his son, Yusufas. When young Yusuf had a strange dream, he did not hesitate to share it with his father. We read in the Holy Quran:
“Remember the time when Joseph said to his father, ‘O my father, I saw in a dream eleven stars and the sun and the moon, I saw them making obeisance to me.’” (Surah Yusuf, Ch.12: V.5)
This open communication was only possible because Yusufas trusted his father and knew he would be understood. Prophet Yaqubas, in turn, responded with wisdom and love, warning him gently and guiding him on the next course of action.
This teaches that children are more likely to seek advice from their parents when they feel emotionally safe and understood – something parents must actively nurture through sincere dialogue and constant engagement.
Walk the talk
Actions, they say, speak louder than words. Instead of simply telling kids what to do, it is more impactful to show them. Kids generally learn by imitation. They pick up everything their parents do. Their style of walking, their mode of dressing, basically everything. Therefore, parents should be good role models for their children.
Allah the Almighty admonishes:
“O ye who believe! Why do you say what you do not do? Most hateful is it in the sight of Allah that you say what you do not do.” (Surah as-Saff, Ch.61: V.3–4)
The Holy Quran also certifies the Holy Prophetsa as the most perfect example of this. It states:
وَاِنَّكَ لَعَلٰی خُلُقٍ عَظِیۡمٍ
“And thou dost surely possess high moral excellences.” (Surah al-Qalam, Ch. 68: V. 5)
Prayer
The most important thing a parent can do for their children is prayer, for a parent’s prayer for their children never goes unanswered. And what prayer could possibly be better than the one prescribed by Allah the Almighty Himself? Allah the Almighty teaches us to say:
“Our Lord, grant us of our wives and children the delight of our eyes, and make us a model for the righteous.” (Surah al-Furqan, Ch.25: V.75)
“My Lord, make me observe Prayer, and my children too. Our Lord! Bestow Thy grace on me and accept my prayer” (Surah Ibrahim, Ch.15: V.41)
It is when parents offer such prayers with sincerity that they are blessed with their children’s prayer in return, even after they are long gone:
“Our Lord, grant forgiveness to me and to my parents and to the believers on the day when the reckoning will take place.” (Surah Ibrahim, Ch.15: V.42)
“My Lord, have mercy on them even as they nourished me in my childhood.” (Surah Bani-Israel, Ch.17: V.25)
Conclusion
Therefore, it is high time parents accept that no matter how much they try, a gap will always exist between them and their children – one rooted in generational, societal, and technological change. But that gap can be bridged – with love, understanding, communication, good example, and prayer.
A phrase comes to mind: “It takes a wise man to recognise a wise man.” In other words, to truly understand or outsmart someone, one must first grasp how they think.
So if you’re raising a Gen Z, perhaps it’s time to start thinking like one – or in fact, outthinking them.