The Prophet’s (sa) weeping out of grief and prohibition of wailing

عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ عُمَرَ ـ رضى الله عنهما ـ قَالَ اشْتَكَى سَعْدُ بْنُ عُبَادَةَ شَكْوَى لَهُ فَأَتَاهُ النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم يَعُودُهُ مَعَ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنِ عَوْفٍ وَسَعْدِ بْنِ أَبِي وَقَّاصٍ وَعَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ مَسْعُودٍ ـ رضى الله عنهم ـ فَلَمَّا دَخَلَ عَلَيْهِ فَوَجَدَهُ فِي غَاشِيَةِ أَهْلِهِ فَقَالَ: قَدْ قَضَى‏‏.‏ قَالُوا لاَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ‏.‏ فَبَكَى النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَلَمَّا رَأَى الْقَوْمُ بُكَاءَ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم بَكَوْا فَقَالَ: أَلاَ تَسْمَعُونَ إِنَّ اللَّهَ لاَ يُعَذِّبُ بِدَمْعِ الْعَيْنِ، وَلاَ بِحُزْنِ الْقَلْبِ، وَلَكِنْ يُعَذِّبُ بِهَذَا ـ وَأَشَارَ إِلَى لِسَانِهِ ـ أَوْ يَرْحَمُ وَإِنَّ الْمَيِّتَ يُعَذَّبُ بِبُكَاءِ أَهْلِهِ عَلَيْهِ.‏‏

Hazrat ‘Abdullah bin ‘Umar^ra narrated, “Sa‘d bin ‘Ubada^ra fell ill with a sickness, so the Prophet^sa went to visit him, accompanied by ‘Abdur Rahman bin ‘Awf^ra, Sa‘d bin Abi Waqqas^ra and ‘Abdullah bin Mas‘ud^ra. When he entered and found him surrounded by his family, he said, ‘Has he passed away?’ They replied, ‘No, O Allah’s Messenger^sa.’ The Prophet^sa then wept, and when the people saw the weeping of the Prophet^sa, they also began to weep. He said, ‘Will you not listen? Surely Allah does not punish because of the tears of the eye, nor because of the sorrow of the heart; but He does punish – or show mercy – on account of this,’ and he pointed to his tongue. ‘And indeed, the deceased is punished because of the wailing of his family over him.’”

(Sahih al-Bukhari, Kitab al-jana’iz, Bab al-buka’i ‘inda l-marid, Hadith 1304)