Daanish Malik, Jamia Ahmadiyya Canada
In a world where mistakes seem to multiply with each passing day, there are many who carry the heavy burden of guilt, convinced they’ve wandered so far from the path of righteousness that forgiveness is now impossible. “I am too lost to be saved,” they say. But what if this feeling of being “too far gone” is nothing more than an illusion – a test of faith from God?
‘I can never be perfect’
Although it might seem that we are swaying too far into the area of sin at times, this is, in reality, a part of the human experience. Would we even be human without our innate temptation to sin?
The Holy Prophetsa said that, “If you were not to sin, Allah would sweep you out of existence and He would bring (in place of you) a people who would commit sin and ask for forgiveness, and He would pardon them.” (Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2749)
The process of seeking repentance from God is what distinguishes us from angels, for whom it is not possible to do wrong. Without the free will to choose between right and wrong, where is the blessing in choosing the right path? We would be like soulless robots. There would be no spiritual journey to right your wrongs and improve as a person. If you’re already at the peak of the mountain, you will never be able to enjoy the view as much as someone who had to climb up there.
‘Does God care about me?’
Fortunately for us, we have an All-Loving, Most-Merciful God who in His very nature loves to forgive. He tells us:
قُلۡ يَٰعِبَادِيَ ٱلَّذِينَ أَسۡرَفُواْ عَلَىٰٓ أَنفُسِهِمۡ لَا تَقۡنَطُواْ مِن رَّحۡمَةِ ٱللَّهِ ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ يَغۡفِرُ ٱلذُّنُوبَ جَمِيعًا ۚ إِنَّهُۥ هُوَ ٱلۡغَفُورُٱلرَّحِيمُ
“Say, ‘O My servants who have committed excesses against their own souls! Despair not of the mercy of Allah, surely Allah forgives all sins. Verily He is Most Forgiving, Merciful.’” (Surah az-Zumar, Ch.39: V.54)
This message from God is a wake-up call. God is always ready and waiting for us to turn to Him. He is not a vengeful God who wants to condemn us to hellfire for eternity. Rather, He loves us infinitely more than our mothers. The Holy Prophetsa explained, “Allah has hundred mercies, out of which one mercy is used by his creation for mutual love and affection. Ninety-nine mercies are kept for the Day of Resurrection.” (Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 6632)
All the countless blessings we have from our parents to our warm homes to provisions necessary for life like water and air; every joy, every moment of happiness, our entire existence is based on one percent of God’s mercy. Now, try to imagine how much mercy he would show us when we are standing before Him. God has told us that no matter how much wrong we might have committed – lied, cheated, hurt someone, stole something, spent years gossiping, etc., it is never too late to flip that new page.
God actually instructs us to experience His forgiveness. He says:
وَٱسۡتَغۡفِرُواْ رَبَّكُمۡ ثُمَّ تُوبُوٓاْ إِلَيۡهِ ۚ إِنَّ رَبِّي رَحِيمٞ وَدُودٞ
“And seek forgiveness of your Lord; then turn to Him wholeheartedly. Verily, my Lord is Merciful, Most Loving.” (Surah Hud, Ch.11: V.91)
The Most Loving God has given us the glad tidings that, “Allah loves those who turn to Him and loves those who keep themselves clean.’.” (Surah al-Baqarah, Ch.2: V.223)
Once you start walking towards God, He will start running to you. Do not think of yourself as too unrighteous to go to the mosque or to pray. If you struggle with veiling or maybe with drinking, take that first step to God. Don’t think yourself too impure to go to the mosque and pray.
The Holy Prophetsa once told a beautiful story to his companions. There was a bedouin travelling through the desert on his camel. The bedouin knew that the journey would be severe, so he loaded his camel with ample food and drink. However, on the journey, he lost his camel and was stranded without any provisions. After searching and searching, he was on the cusp of giving up. Moments before quitting, he found his camel, still loaded with all his food and drink, stuck to a tree. Imagine how delighted that traveller would feel when he found his camel at last on the edge of death. The Prophetsa explained that “Allah is more delighted at the repentance of His servant than that person (as he finds his lost) camel.” (Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2675)
‘How can someone like me reach God?’
You might think, “I get that God loves most of us, but I’m too far gone. There’s no point in me trying.” This is incredibly false. The reality is that people far worse than you have turned to God and have immersed themselves in Him.
For example, Hind was a woman from the time of the Holy Prophetsa who was amongst his worst enemies. She was a staunch polytheist and enemy of Islam. She would urge and instigate the Meccans to attack the Muslims. It is narrated that during the Battle of Uhud, when Hazrat Hamzara was martyred, she began to mutilate his body and eat his liver. She threatened to exhume the body of the mother of our beloved Prophet and send her limbs to him piece by piece. This vile and abhorrent woman turned to God on the day of the conquest of Mecca. That same woman managed to repent and experience His love. What’s stopping you from doing the same?
One is never too far gone. The Holy Prophetsa once narrated that God Almighty declared, “O son of Adam, as long as you call on Me, I shall forgive you of what you have done, and think nothing of it. O son of Adam, even if your sins were to reach up to the clouds in the sky, and then you were to ask for My forgiveness, I would forgive you and think nothing of it. O son of Adam, even if you were to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth, and then you were to meet Me after death, not worshiping anything besides Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great as the earth.” (Jami’ at-Tirmidhi, Hadith 3540)
In Islam, you can have lived a lifetime of sin, but the door to reach God will always remain open. If He can transform the most desolate dry desert of Arabia into the oasis of the spiritual world, if He can soften the hearts of the worst of opponents, can the All-Powerful God not accept you into His love?
One of God’s attributes is العفو, meaning the Pardoner of Sins, the Great Effacer. How wonderful would it be if we could experience this forgiving nature of Allah firsthand. The fact of the matter is that Allah having this attribute is proof that we are meant to turn to Him and have our sins effaced. Islam was sent for the sinners, for the imperfect ones. It is a means to reconnect with the Creator. Regarding this, the Holy Prophetsa taught us a beautiful supplication:
اللَّهُمَّ إِنَّكَ عَفُوٌّ تُحِبُّ الْعَفْوَ فَاعْفُ عَنِّي
Meaning “O Allah you are the pardoner of sins, you love to pardon and efface, so pardon from me (my sins).”
‘What’s the point?’
You want to know the best part of it all? When you do find God and experience him like the companions of the Holy Prophetsa did, like millions of others before you have, you will quite literally become a miracle of God. Your story will become a sign of God’s existence.
The Promised Messiahas writes:
“It is my belief that any individual who forsakes their evil morals and ignoble habits, and adopts good qualities, shows a miracle. For example if a stern and rough-natured person, or someone who succumbs to anger, abandons these ill habits and adopts the qualities of forbearance and forgiveness, or if a person rids themselves of miserliness and becomes generous, or if a person develops sympathy in the place of malice, this is undoubtedly a miracle. Similarly, if a person forsakes self-conceit and self-admiration, and replaces it with lowliness and humility, then this very humility is a miracle. Who from among you does not desire that miracles be shown at their hands? I know that everyone holds this desire. Therefore, an everlasting and living miracle is if an individual reforms his moral state.” (Malfuzat, Vol.1, p. 138)
This is a phenomenal opportunity. A chance to redeem yourself and make God your beloved. Our lives are composed of lows and highs; we all experience times of happiness and other moments of sadness. This is a natural occurrence. The same is true for our spirituality; however, God has granted us the chance to make lifelong changes in our trajectory. We are not bound by the chains of our past. Deciding to make that shift is what Islam is for. In fact, today can be the inflexion point in the course of your life.
Besides, is this not what we pray for every day in every prayer? “Guide us in the straight path. The path of those on whom you have bestowed your love.” Do not squander that which you have been seeking your entire life. Otherwise, when that Day of Judgement arrives and we stand in front of God, we risk being amongst the regretful rather than the content.