Samar Hafeez, Clinical Psychologist and Counsellor, India
Most of the misery in our lives arises from either thinking about the bygone past or the shrouded future. We find ourselves usually getting entangled in our experiences without stepping back and looking objectively at what is happening. Sometimes we get so engrossed in evaluation, planning and analysing that we fail to enjoy the present experience of life as it is.
How many of us think that we have been living without active engagement and awareness? We all wonder if we could ever restore equilibrium in our lives. The answer to this question is: Yes, we can. A well-researched method called “mindfulness” has shown promising results in promoting balance, mental clarity, self-control, satisfaction and happiness in life. Mindfulness helps in regaining control over destructive thoughts, emotions and behaviours, which in turn reduces stress, anxiety and symptoms of depression.
What is mindfulness?
Mindfulness is a practice of being fully aware and present in the present moment. It helps us avoid judgement and build a self-compassionate outlook towards ourselves and others. Additionally, an important goal of mindfulness is to pay close attention to the workings of thought patterns, emotions and physiological processes.
Here are a few ways you can practise mindfulness daily.
1. Mindful breathing
Mindful breathing is a simple and effective way to start your mindfulness practice. Setting aside 5-10 minutes of your time to focus on just your breath can go a long way in managing or controlling stressful reactions to situations. It is an effective tool, and with practice, it can help you to calm yourself in emotionally charged situations. Furthermore, it helps to reduce anxiety and negative thinking and promotes a sense of calm, clarity and control.
To achieve this, try the following. Find a comfortable posture. You can either stand, lie down or sit. Aiming for a position that helps you relax the most. Then, close your eyes. This step helps minimise sensory distractions and increases focus on breathing patterns.
Next, focus on your breathing. Watch the gentle rise and fall of the stomach with each breath. The movement of the chest and shoulders instead of the movement of the diaphragm/belly indicates the presence of stress or anxiety. Make sure your chest and shoulders move very little while you breathe to reap maximum benefit. Breathe in and out following the air as your belly moves in and out.
If you find your mind wandering often, try to bring your focus back to your breath with every attempt. It is a normal yet essential part of the exercise that helps strengthen the neural pathways which play a key role in focus, concentration and attention.
Repeat this breathing pattern for five minutes or take a minimum of 10 deep breaths each time. Finally, observe changes in the body or mind because of this exercise.
2. Mindful eating
It involves paying full attention to the experience of eating. It not only enhances the pleasure of eating but also nurtures our relationship with the food that we eat. This helps us make healthy food choices that benefit our mental and physical health.
To achieve this, try the following.
Tune into your hunger signals and know “why” you are eating. Are you eating because you are physically hungry or in response to a negative experience or emotion?
Sit down, begin with bismillah and eat slowly. The Holy Prophetsa said, “Mention the name of Allah, and eat with your right hand, and eat from what is nearer to you.” (Sahih al-Bukhari, Kitab al-at‘imah, Hadith 5376)
This action prevents overeating, indigestion and bloating. Furthermore, chew food thoroughly for adequate assimilation and sip water instead of gulping it.
Get rid of distractions: Avoid using gadgets, cell phones, televisions or laptops while eating. Talking too can be avoided in order to increase focus on food quality and quantity.
Activate all five senses: Notice the colours, textures, patterns, aromas and tastes of your meal.
Choose a space: Eat at a designated eating area every day. Avoid eating in bed or in the kitchen.
Portion control: Filling your plate with additional portions of rice or bread will lead to overeating and weight gain. Monitoring the plate and spoon sizes can help reduce food intake. The Holy Prophetsa said, “The food for two persons is sufficient for three, and the food of three persons is sufficient for four persons.” (Ibid., Hadith 5392)
Ponder over the origin of food: Where did the food come from? Who is its Creator? Think about the production, packaging and transportation efforts that are required in processing it.
If eating a whole meal mindfully seems daunting, then start out by practising drinking a cup of tea or eating a piece of cake mindfully. And later upgrade to eating at least one meal a day mindfully.
3. Mindful walking
Walking is a great way to incorporate mindfulness into your daily routine. It is something we do every day, yet we rarely pay attention to the body movements associated with walking. Mindful walking is about becoming fully aware of your body and surroundings while you are on the move.
Pay attention: As you begin, watch your breath and walk at a natural pace. Pay attention to the sensations of the body. How do your feet and arms feel? Does your body feel heavy or light? Relaxed or tensed?
Acknowledge the movements and sensations: Notice the movement of your limbs and other parts of the body as you move. If your mind wanders during this process, try to bring it back to the sensations of movement as many times as you can.
For a few minutes, notice the sounds, colours of nature and sense of smell around you; if you are barefoot, then feel the grass and granules of sand touching your soles. Acknowledge the sensation without the need to think or have any judgement about the feeling. After 2-3 minutes, slowly bring back your attention to the sensation of movement of your body.
Mindful walking can be practised anywhere; you would just need someplace to walk.
4. Mindful waking
As we wake up in the morning, we are often flooded with innumerable thoughts regarding pending tasks that need completion. In addition, most of us use mobile phones as the first thing in the morning. It is said that mornings set the tone for the day; when you win the morning, you win the day.
Some steps that can help you are:
Check on your body: As soon as you wake up, tune into your body and check your breathing. Notice if you are breathing through your chest or abdomen. Feel the rise and fall with each breath.
Allow yourself to wake up completely. Avoid checking your phone for any texts, emails or notifications, as they can create stress and anxiety, reduce attention and increase cortisol levels in the body. Instead, make gratitude your first thought in the morning; think of one or two things you are thankful for and ask yourself, ‘What is my motive for the day?’
Mindful waking is an excellent way of waking up; it increases energy, promotes awareness and sets you up to thrive during the day.
5. Mindful Listening
Being mindful in your communication is a vital part of your ability to connect and sustain relationships. Mindfulness in a relationship is about observing and interacting without being judgemental and hypercritical.
A few steps to enhance your listening experience are as follows:
Feel your own sense of purpose: Build an intention to listen to the person intently, genuinely and without judgement
Check your feelings: Notice your thoughts, feelings, memories and judgements regarding the person and slowly bring your attention back to the speaker
Reflect: Actively listen to the person and summarise or make a gist of what is being said and reflect back what you have heard. This enhances your understanding of the subject under discussion. Additionally, the speaker feels heard, understood and reassured.
Acknowledge: Use of friendly, non-judgemental and open-ended questions can help broaden your understanding. It is vital to first acknowledge the opinions, thoughts or feelings of another person before you differ. Remember, acknowledging is not agreeing; it is just a way of conveying that you recognise or validate a person’s thoughts, feelings and opinions.
Do not divide your attention: When you are listening to someone, give them your undivided attention. Glancing at your screens or constantly checking out things around you, instead of making eye contact with the person, gives them the impression that you don’t value their thoughts and opinions. Also, stand still and avoid moving unnecessarily when in a conversation. If you need to leave, then gracefully apologise or ask for permission to leave. Do not abruptly end the conversation. Let them know about your commitment and end the conversation by acknowledging their time and interest in sharing and reassuring your willingness to continue with the same conversation as soon as possible.
6. Mindful talking
Communication is a critical element of our day-to-day interactions. A clear and straightforward way of communicating is crucial to our social existence. Despite its importance, we rarely pay attention to our ways of communication, styles and habits. Take a minute to reflect on how many times we reacted to the opposite person, even without realising what the person must have said or meant.
How many times have our good talks turned into nasty fights? Do you regret making or passing a statement which you think you didn’t even mean? Have we ever paused to think about what you are saying and how you are saying it? These are some questions that will help you ponder the level of mindful communication you indulge in daily.
Some self-check tips that will help:
Always be clear and speak deliberately; choose words that are simple yet effective.
Be fully present and notice gestures and nonverbal behaviours that people might be presenting.
Check your tone of voice; speak slowly and without aggression. When you have nothing better to say, value silence as an essential part of speech.
Listen to others before responding, pay attention to what they are actually saying, and avoid responding reactively. The more mindfully and meaningfully you relate to others, the better your interpersonal relationships will get. Furthermore, it will help you in managing and regulating your negative emotions and their expressions as well.
Prayer
Prayer as a mindfulness practice is an incredible addition to your routine. It ensures focus, intentional awareness and clarity that can help you connect to God Almighty, thereby increasing the chances of attaining guidance, enlightenment, strength, and inner peace.
Mindfulness enhances and enriches your experience of yourself and the world. Using this tool regularly has been shown to produce a myriad of mental, emotional, physical and interpersonal benefits. Enjoy every moment in mindfulness by awakening your true and authentic self through mindfulness.
