What to do if boys do not give preference to piety when looking for spouses?


During a virtual mulaqat of the national amila of Lajna Imaillah Bangladesh with Hazrat Khalifatul Masih Vaa, which was held on 14 November 2020, a member of Lajna Imaillah said, “In matters relating to marriage, it has been emphasised that one should give preference to the aspect of religion. However, these days, people give preference to beauty and other qualities and as a result of this, many righteous and religious girls within the Jamaat are not getting married. We would like to request your guidance regarding this.”

Huzooraa replied:

“You see, we can only make an effort and, so, I always endeavour to explain this to the boys – and it is absolutely right and this is what the Holy Prophetsa has said – that when people marry, they look at certain aspects, such as the potential spouse’s family status, her beauty or her wealth. However, a true believer should always look towards the religion of a woman.

“Now, the issue is that if the boys themselves are not religious, how would they look for faith in the girls? Hence, I say to the administration of the Jamaat and to Khuddam-ul-Ahmadiyya to try and inculcate piety amongst boys. Once boys have inculcated righteousness in themselves, they will most certainly try to marry such women who are also pious. So, this is a matter pertaining to tarbiyat and this is something towards which I regularly draw the attention of the Jamaat, Khuddam-ul-Ahmadiyya and Ansar.

“However, it is also the task of the Lajna that they should also make efforts. Those members of Lajna who are older and who are mothers should also endeavour to morally train their children and in particular the boys. They should explain to them that they should marry girls who are righteous and religious. If mothers fulfil their responsibility in this regard, then their sons will surely marry girls who are religious as well.

“The issue is that when it comes to the marriage of their sons, mothers say that we will marry them based upon their own choice and when the marriageable age for girls is passing by, when they get older and when they stop receiving any marriage proposals, the parents then expect the Jamaat to get them married when in actual fact, both parties should seek help through the Jamaat and should endeavour to settle marriages in which both the boy and girl are religious and so that marriages occur within the Jamaat and so that a righteous and pious progeny continues to follow. So, this is a joint effort that men and women ought to carry out together. Mothers and fathers should both fulfil their respective responsibilities in this regard.

“I try to explain these matters and draw the attention of people towards them and pray that Allah the Exalted may enable everyone to act upon this.”

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